


Parker's name is Grace Barton

by pinkhairedharry



Series: Barton family [1]
Category: Leverage, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Child Neglect, Coulson Lives, F/M, FIx It, Fury lies, M/M, Other Characters - Freeform, coming up with a title was hard, more tags as the story progresses, off screen canon child death, off screen child abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-14
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-21 02:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkhairedharry/pseuds/pinkhairedharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker world renowned (infamous) Thief didn't spring forth full grown out of the sea. She had a family once. She still has a brother left. He's kind of a Super Hero now. She's not that sure how he'll react to her current occupation but she's sorta a hero in her own special way. Her team gets the bad guys the good guys can't touch so maybe it will workout all right. She just has to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Parker had three brothers

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any recognizable characters.

Parker does have living family

 

Once upon a time there had been a happy family, a father, a mother, two older brothers, a sister and a younger brother. Mrs. Barton had been a nurse and Mr. Barton had been a mechanic. Their Daddy may have ignored his children for the most part but their Momma had more than made up for it with her fierce devotion. Barney had been the oldest, Clint the second oldest, little Grace the only girl and little Brian had been the youngest. When the children were twelve, eight, five and four their parents were killed in a car accident. They had no other living relatives so the children were put in foster care. 

Barney and Clint were placed together being older and less sought after than the younger two they were moved around a lot until they were finally placed in an orphanage. Little Grace and Brian with their blonde hair, blue eyes and chubby cheeks were placed with a nice family little Brian was killed in an accident. Barney and Clint were brought from the orphanage to the funeral. Teary eyed Grace had held on to her brothers and the stuffed Bunny Clint had won her during their last family outing before their parents had died the entire time. For the next year little Grace got moved from one family to another until she’d had enough and blew up the last foster home and made her way to Barney and Clint. 

Together the three had run away and ended up in a circus. Gracie and Clint had been so happy there. They fit in the circus as if they’d been born to it. Little Gracie with her fearlessness and natural ability had quickly joined the high wire acrobats while quick-witted and unbelievably coordinated Clint had found a place with the marksmen but Barney lacking the natural talent and grace of his younger siblings remained a roustabout and second string archer. He grew jealous and angry over the years and fell deeper into a life of crime. The last day all three Barton siblings had been together was the day Barney had left Clint for dead. He’d told fourteen year old Gracie that Clint was dead and he was leaving with Bullseye. She’d packed up Bunny, slipped away from Carson’s and headed to New York. She’d already become Parker the Thief when Archie found her and honed her skills. 

A few years in the criminal underground later found her hearing rumors about Barney. He’d taken the name Trickshot and was still working with Bullseye. They’d become hit men for hire before forming a crew of their own. She’d stayed the hell away from him because she might be a criminal but she didn’t kill people. That had been the deal she made with Clint when they had to steal or starve before the circus. As long as they didn’t hurt or kill anyone it was okay to be a thief. A few more years passed before she heard that Trickshot had gotten himself killed by Bullseye over some silly dispute. She mourned the death of the brother that had taken care of her and protected her the best he could as little more than a child himself but she was also slightly relieved. The brother she’d loved had been long dead and the killer he’d become couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. 

Another few years had her hearing rumors about a new player calling himself Hawkeye the world’s greatest marksman which had been Clint’s stage name during their circus days. It wasn’t just his stage name that the imposter was using either. She couldn’t help trying to find out who was using her brother’s identity. It didn’t matter that he was dead. No one was allowed to use him like that. It took sneaking into a literal who’s who of the criminal world party hosted by Damien Moreau to finally get a look at the imposter. It might have been eight years since she’d last seen her brother but she knew it was actually him the second she saw him. She hadn’t been prepared to actually see her not dead brother chatting pleasantly with a man she would later learn was named Eliot Spencer so she booked it out of there before he could spot her. She wasn’t sure she wanted to invite Clint into her life if he was just following Barney’s example even if his eyes had still held warmth that Barney’s had lacked as he left her. 

Years later when she answered the call from Dubenich she hadn’t expected to work with the man her brother had been talking so animatedly with but for all his gruffness and violence Eliot had a kindness that reminded her of the Clint she’d known. She’d latched on to him as a life line to her brother in the hope that Clint was like him not like Barney even if he had no idea about it. She never mentioned that she’d known that Eliot had worked for Moreau and she’d never willingly brought up her brothers. Eliot didn’t seem to have a problem filling the big brother roll she’d shoved him into.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the others. She did but she knew Sophie, Nate and Alec wouldn’t be able to help themselves. They pry and dig until they find everything they can, damn the consequences (more Alec and Nate but Sophie wouldn’t stop them) which is normally not a problem. It would be bad here because she’d watched the news broadcast of the invasion of New York four months ago. She’d recognized her brother fighting alongside the other super heroes even if all the footage of him was either grainy or taken from too far away to accurately identify him. As Eliot would say Clint had a very distinctive stance and odd preference for any shade of purple that she thought he would have outgrown by now. Leverage Inc. didn’t need any attention from the Avengers or their bosses’ (or their enemies’ for that matter). Also, she’d stolen a few, technically five but two were ones she’d already stolen and fenced which he reacquired, very expensive pieces of art from Tony Stark back before he made himself a super hero. She was starting to feel a little guilty even if she was pretty sure he knew and hadn’t cared if the fact that he’d gotten the first two back and hadn’t upped the security on them was anything to go by. 

Eliot was the only one she’d been tempted to tell on the off chance he might still be in contact with Clint. Plus he could be trusted not to pry. He’d watched the news just as anxiously as she had back then and both of them had cringed when Clint had jumped off the building with only a grappling arrow to catch him. They hadn’t called each other out and both of them had been relieved that the other three were too entranced to notice their unusual behavior. Things got back to normal a few weeks after the failed invasion but for the last two months Eliot had been disappearing regularly for a few hours a day when they didn’t have a job. It was starting to drive her a little nuts even if the others A) hadn’t noticed (Alec), B) noticed but wasn’t interested (Sophie) or C) noticed but didn’t care because he trusted Eliot (Nate). It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Eliot she just wanted to know what he was up to. It was a little sister’s (Parker’s) prerogative to find out what big brother (Eliot) was up to especially when Mom and Dad (Sophie and Nate) weren’t calling him out and little brother (Eliot’s little brother definitely not her little brother) was being oblivious. 

Most mornings Eliot made them (mostly just her) breakfast before heading to his office (mostly a gym but it had a desk he used sometimes it counted) around lunch time he’d cook for whoever was present (mostly her and Alec. Sophie was usually handling her theater while Nate did Mastermind things). After lunch he’d been disappearing until dinner and coming back relaxed (not his hey-I-just-I-got-laid relaxed but his I’ve-been-hanging-out-with-friends-I-trust relaxed. She’d known him five years now she knew the difference) which was the part that was driving her a little bit nuts. 

She was kind of surprised she’d held out as long as she had, two months was definitely a new record for her. He could have told her to go back inside when she followed him to his truck but he opened the passenger side door for her so she grinned and hopped in. She didn’t bother asking where they were going she just listened as Eliot sung along with the radio. Eliot drove them to a two story farmhouse outside the suburbs with a white picket fence in the front yard and an apple orchard in the back. The nearest neighbors were two miles away and the place looked cozy and well-loved with fresh paint and tidy lawn. There were two vehicles parked in front of a detached garage, a pale blue ’57 Chevy pickup next to a newer hard top jeep. The garage was open and the same song that had been playing before Eliot turned off the ignition could be heard emanating from inside. Parker followed Eliot towards the garage and saw a royal purple ’67 mustang with a pair of legs sticking out from under the chassis. 

Eliot’s friend was singing along, his voice rough but melodic and so familiar that it almost hurt. She couldn’t help grinning and closing her eyes to listen better when Eliot joined in on the chorus. She loved it when he sang. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she opened her eyes as the song ended and Clint was standing almost but not quite close enough to touch. She was a little nervous but Clint was looking at her like she was the Holy Grail.

Clint opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. His mouth closed and he swallowed a few times before trying again. A reverent and choked, “Gracie,” was all he managed. 

She met his hopeful blue eyes with tear full eyes of her own before pouncing on him. 

Eliot was definitely her favorite.


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parker and Clint spend some time talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages: Clint 35, Parker 33, Eliot 36, Phil 46, Darcy 24

Eliot had not been expecting this when he decided to bring Parker to Clint and Phil’s house. He had been expecting Parker and Clint to hit it off while Phil sent him exasperated looks for introducing the two. Eliot gave them a few minutes to hold onto each other and really accept they were both really here before clearing his throat. 

Parker wasn’t sure how long she held onto Clint before Eliot cleared his throat. Parker linked her right hand in Clint’s left making a mental note to ask about the ring on his finger later before turning towards Eliot with a questioning look. 

Eliot had a genuine smile on his face as he said, “This,” waving a hand at the two, “explains so fucking much.”

“Fuck you, Spencer,” responded Clint with twinkling eyes.

“You wish, Barton,” returned Eliot with a smirk before asking, “Whose jeep?”

“A taser happy intern followed Tasha home. They’re inside with Phil,” answered Clint.

‘Hmm, wonder which he’s married to, Phil or Tasha’ thought Parker. 

“We moving this reunion inside or what?” asked Eliot. 

“You just want to see Tasha,” teased Clint.

“So?” asked Eliot without a hint of embarrassment or anger at being called out so easily.

“I need to introduce, Gracie?” the emphasis on her name had Parker shaking her head and offering “Parker,” instead. “I need to introduce Parker to everyone but that can wait. We have some catching up to do,” answered Clint.

“Will I like them?” asked Parker.

“I hope so,” answered Clint.

“Yeah, Parker, Phil’s like Nate and Sophie rolled into one. And Natasha’s like a mix of me and Sophie,” answered Eliot.

Parker offered a cheery “Kinky,” before waving Eliot towards the house. “What about the taser happy intern?” 

“She’s Eliot’s little sister,” answered Clint before Eliot could.

Parker giggled and threw a wink at Eliot over her shoulder promising not to tell the others without permission. 

Eliot smiled at Parker’s antics before heading inside. Nine times out of ten he could guess how the others would jump when something went wrong or even right. Parker on the other hand was far less predictable than the rest of the team. The unpredictability had been so subconsciously familiar after years of friendship with Clint that Parker had been the first of their crew to gain his complete trust. He should have suspected something then but he knew why he hadn’t. Pretty little blondes that disappear aren’t usually found alive decades later. He’d known Clint since they’d been partnered together during basics eighteen years ago. He’d learned about Gracie while he and Clint had been held prisoner for eight days by a torture happy band of guerilla fighters fifteen years ago. After they’d been rescued and released from medical, Clint had shown him the only picture he had of his little sister. The small polaroid of three smiling children had been old, faded and worn enough that the only truly definable feature had been hair color. A bright blonde Gracie nestled between a sandy blonde Clint and a dark mop of curls (Clint hadn’t talked about Barney until after Eliot’s squad had been killed by a double agent feeding them bad intel). He certainly hadn’t expected Clint’s little sister to be Parker: the Best Thief in the World.

Darcy and Phil were sharing the couch with Natasha perched on the armrest of a recliner when Eliot entered the living room. Darcy bounced off the couch and glomped him while Phil said, “I thought you were bringing your friend, Parker.”

“I did…Clint called her Gracie,” answered Eliot sending a hard look at Phil but softening when Phil looked as surprised as he felt.

“Well shit,” muttered Natasha.

“Exactly,” added Eliot.

“Who’s Gracie?” asked Darcy letting go of Eliot and returning to her spot next to Phil on the couch.

“Clint’s younger sister. She disappeared about eighteen years ago,” answered Phil.

 

Back in the garage, Clint had taken a look around and figured it would take more time to clear off the bench than closing the hood of the mustang. His baby wouldn’t be hurt by them sitting on the hood. After closing the hood and getting comfortable he patted the spot next to him. Parker grinned nervously as she took the invitation.

“Barney told me you were dead,” offered Parker hesitantly. 

“I would have died if a pair of soldiers on leave hadn’t decided a late night dog walk was a good idea,” replied Clint.

“Are you married?” asked Parker.

Clint snorted and said, “Divorced and remarried, the ring’s from the first marriage though.”

“Why?” asked Parker knowing most people would think it was rude to ask but Clint hadn’t looked upset or angry just amused.

“My beautiful, kind, patient, devious and brilliant wife of ten years noticed I was in mutualy requited love with Phil and thought we were both morons. She had a sit down with Phil’s wife and they decided to divorce our stupid asses when we got back from an op. We decided to just keep their rings as a reminder,” replied Clint.

“You still love her,” said Parker.

“Yep, Bobbi was my first love. Met her on leave when I was nineteen, married her when I was twenty one. She gave me two amazing little girls so I’m never going to not love her but she was right to divorce me. She didn’t deserve to play second fiddle in my heart,” explained Clint. 

“I have nieces?” inquired Parker.

“Yep, Emily Rose is twelve and Gracie Mae is six. Bobbi’s bringing them up for the weekend if you want to meet them,” offered Clint.

“Can I teach them to pick locks?” asked Parker.

“Sure,” agreed Clint.

“Really? Sophie said parents don’t like people teaching their kids overt criminal behavior,” said Parker with a confused shrug. 

“It’s a useful skill to have and I’ve been meaning to teach them but Bobbi gets this pinched look whenever I teach them things I learned at Carson’s,” explained Clint. 

Parker frowned and asked, “Why? They’re good survival skills.” 

“I know that, you know that, hell, Bobbi knows it. She’s just really into all that ‘good’ parenting shit that makes her think she has to protect the girls from the uglier things in life by keeping them away from anything and everything even slightly shady. They’re kinda sheltered,” answered Clint while rolling his eyes. 

“She does know what you do for a living, right?” questioned Parker.

“Yeah, she works for Shield mostly in the biology labs but she’s does field work occasionally,” answered Clint.

Parker shook her head and said, “That attitude won’t do them any favors later on.”

“I know. That’s why I try to teach ‘em everything I can when they’re with me,” agreed Clint.

“Tell me about what you’ve been up to the last eighteen years,” implored Parker resting her head on Clint’s shoulder.

“It’s not all that pretty and a lot of it is classified,” stated Clint.

“I understand that but I still want to know,” countered Parker.

“I walked in on Bullseye and Barney stealing from Carson’s. I woke up with them arguing over what to do with me. I’m lucky Bullseye never lived up to his name…Phil was one of the soldiers that found me. The nurse told me he visited the hospital every day until he got called back to base, left his contact info at the hospital for me. By the time I was awake and fully coherent a cop and a social worker were waiting at my bed side. Fed the cop a pack of bull shit about it being dark and not remembering much and he left without a fuss…Ms. Evans on the other hand sent me back to St. Jerome’s and Sister Nancy wouldn’t let me out of her sight until I turned eighteen…Visited Carson’s but I couldn’t stay there without you. I’d been exchanging letters with Phil for a few months so I figured what the hell might as well join the army. Met Eliot during basics, met Bobbi a few months later, did a bunch of missions with Eliot, got married, went on more classified missions, got transferred a couple times before I ended up in Phil’s squad, had Emily, did a handful of extra classified missions with Phil, joined Shield when Director Fury who’d been the other soldier with Phil that night asked, accidentally got Bobbi recruited by Shield, purposely recruited a Russian Assassin I was ordered to kill, had Gracie Mae, got divorced, skipped the whole dating part and married Phil, spent a few years doing ops with Phil and my favorite Russian before Thor and his Hammer fell out of the sky in New Mexico eighteen months ago,” summarized Clint.

“I thought that was a hoax,” said Parker.

“Shield is very, very, good at cover ups,” offered Clint gently bumping his head against hers.

“What about the past eighteen months? I mean, aside from fighting aliens in New York four months ago. Why are you living in Portland?” asked Parker.

“I spent about a year babysitting a bunch of scientist working on a classified project before Thor’s bat shit crazy adopted brother showed up and decided I would make a good puppet,” Clint swallowed hard before continuing, “I remember everything I did while he was pulling the strings. When he put the spell on me I just didn’t care about anything other than what he told me to do. Every time I started to care, to fight him for control, he recast the fucking spell. I spent a week as his puppet, the spell kept me going the entire time with just enough food to keep my body functional. I led an attack on Shield, kill people I’d been working with for years, killed friends. About the time Tasha was kicking Loki out of my head, Loki was stabbing Phil in the back. He escaped to New York where he opened the portal my fellow puppets helped create for his army to come through and then we were fighting fucking aliens. After the fight was over I found out Phil’s death was the thing that got the rest of them to actually work together instead of against each other. The thing is we had contingency plans that would be put in motion if one of us ‘died’ but weren’t really dead so I knew he wasn’t actually dead about two weeks after the battle. It took me another week to actually find him because Fury’s a dick and hid him in Portland. He still hasn’t told the Avengers that Phil’s not dead. I’m technically on psych/grief leave until I feel like coming back while Tasha’s keeping an eye on me.”

“Why haven’t you told your team about Phil?” asked Parker with a frown.

“I’m a selfish bastard that doesn’t want to share,” said Clint drawing a chuckle out of Parker before sobering and adding, “and I kinda blame them for Phil’s ‘death’ because if they hadn’t needed the push Fury wouldn’t have lied and I wouldn’t have spent two weeks thinking I helped kill Phil. I know it’s an asshole move but they can hear it from Fury or figure it out themselves, I mean, there wasn’t even a funeral.” 

“Nah, seems pretty reasonable but you should tell them anyways. I want to meet Phil and Natasha and Eliot’s little sister,” said Parker standing up and pulling Clint with her. 

When the siblings finally entered the living room, Phil sent Clint a questioning look that was little more than a slight quirk of an eyebrow. Clint’s answering grin was huge as he said, “This is my sister, Parker.” 

“Spency always knows the best people,” exclaimed Darcy. “Nice ta meet ya, Parker.”

“Spency? Can I call him Spency too?” asked Parker with a mischievous glimmer in her eyes.

“NO!” growled Eliot while Darcy smirked and said, “Seeing as they basically did a sister swap we‘re totally in the clear. Spency can growl all he wants but we all know he’s just as ooey-gooey on the inside as a toasted marsh mellow.” 

Natasha and Clint snorted in amusement, only Darcy could get away with calling Eliot Spencer an ooey-gooey marsh mellow. Not to say it wasn’t true, he just usually beat the hell out of anyone that called him on it.

Phil cleared his throat getting everyone’s attention.

Clint grinned sheepishly and said, “Parker, this is Natasha,” nodding at the red headed woman who ran a critical eye up and down her before nodding slightly in greeting. Parker had a flash back to her first meeting with Eliot and the way he’d done the same thing, assessing her and acknowledging a kindred spirit unlike how he’d dismissed Alec as a nonentity. She was comforted by the fact that the red head had her brother’s back. She gave an answering nod before turning towards the man (slightly receding hair line, unremarkable but for the sharp blue eyes that she bet could give Nate a run for his money) that hadn’t risen from the couch.

“and Phil,” finished Clint.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Parker,” greeted Phil with a genuine smile that turned him from oh so bland to the kind of adorable that had her wanting to cuddle him like Bunny.

Parker nudged Clint before asking, “He’s really yours, right? Married, love forever and all that jazz?” when Clint nodded she grinned and said, “Good. I like him.”

Clint held her eyes for a good long moment before saying, “Me too,” so solemnly that Natasha snorted, Darcy giggled, Eliot rolled his eyes and Phil laughed out right.

Clint joined Phil and Darcy on the couch while Parker perched on the arm rest next to him. Eliot was sitting on an armchair with Natasha perched on the armrest. 

Parker studied Phil for a few minutes before she frowned and asked, “Hey Eliot, do you think the planet would explode if Nate and Phil were in the same room?” 

Instead of answering no right off the bat, Eliot took a minute to think about his answer before saying, “Depends on if they hit it off or not.”

“Which will get us all killed?” asked Parker.

“Fifty-fifty chance either way,” replied Eliot with a shrug. 

“Terrible odds, lets never let it happen,” interjected Darcy.

“I already know Mr. Ford,” announced Phil blandly. 

Eliot gave Phil an assessing look before he said, “Well, that decreases the likelihood of the planet exploding but increases the odds of us all dying to sixty-forty.” 

“How do you know Nate?” inquired Parker.

Phil shrugged and said, “I’m from Boston, we grew up in the same neighborhood.”


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is here.

Chapter 3

 

Eliot frowned as he said, “And you just never felt like mentioning that little fact?”

Phil quirked an eyebrow at Eliot until he rolled his eyes and let the subject drop.

“You guys should come to the Brew Pub. Meet everyone and stuff,” said Parker. 

“Will Eliot feed us?” asked Darcy.

Parker grinned and said, “He usually feeds us so probably but the cook’s pretty good, he’s not Eliot good but no one is Eliot good.”

“Clint is,” countered Natasha causing Parker to raise a questioning eyebrow at Eliot.

Eliot nodded and Clint beamed proudly. He took just as much pride in his culinary ability as Eliot did and for mostly the same reason. He was proud of the skills that had had him on the roster for the Initiative years before Loki had shown up but sometimes it was nice to be recognized for a skill that had nothing to do with his job. 

“We need a cook off,” suggested Darcy with an excited grin. She’d grown up with Eliot’s culinary explorations and the last sixteen months or so had been spent eating whatever Clint decided to feed her so really it would be just an excuse to get them to cook the good stuff. 

Parker perked up at Darcy’s suggestion and said, “Definitely need a cook off.”

“You two just want us to feed you,” teased Clint.

“Well, duh,” agreed Darcy with a smirk.

The group spent the rest of the afternoon exchanging stories and teasing each other. Clint was the victim of most of the embarrassing stories but none of them escaped the teasing. Natasha and Phil were more than happy to share embarrassing stories of Clint while he returned the favor. Darcy happily shared stories of growing up with Eliot. Parker wasn’t surprised to learn that Eliot had mostly raised Darcy with occasional help from their overworked and underpaid mother. Sandra Lewis, mother of four, had tried her hardest but she’d been barely seventeen when Eliot was born and Clarence Spencer had bailed before Darcy was born. She’d worked two fulltime jobs to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table while Eliot took care of his three younger sisters. 

Parker was amused to learn that Phil had a wicked sense of humor and used his no-nonsense reputation to let Clint (happily) and occasionally Natasha (faintly amused) take the fall for his pranks. 

At one point Darcy had dragged Parker into the kitchen to help carry drinks (and gossip about Eliot, Natasha and possible ninja babies if they ever got their heads out of their asses). 

Before Parker and Eliot headed out Parker asked, “Do you guys have any plans for tomorrow?”

“Phil’s got PT in the morning but otherwise we’re free, why?” returned Clint.

“Come to the Brew Pub. You can use the kitchen for the cook off,” suggested Parker. She grinned as she added, “Industrial grade kitchen with all the bells and whistles.” 

“It’s been quite a long time since you two have had a chance to compare techniques,” added Natasha with a challenging note in her tone.

“It’d be nice to visit the city before the girls get here,” added Phil blandly.

Clint and Eliot shared a look before Clint said, “I guess we don’t really have a choice.” His playful gleam in his eyes belied the doleful words. 

Parker hugged Clint and whispered, “You should really tell your crew before they find out on their own. It won’t end well.” 

“I’ll think about it,” responded Clint giving Parker one last squeeze before letting her go.

Parker waved at the others while Eliot exchanged his own goodbyes. As they headed home Eliot turned the radio on low and concentrated on driving while Parker leaned against the window lost in thought with a small smile on face.

Eliot nearly missed the whispered, “Thank you,” from Parker.

“Nothing to thank me for Parker. I just thought you’d like them,” responded Eliot.

“I do but I’m not just thanking you for bringing me here today. Thank you for being there for him when I wasn’t,” said Parker. 

“It wasn’t hard Parker. He’s my friend,” replied Eliot.

“I know. I saw you guys talking at a party once,” said Parker.

Eliot frowned as he asked, “When?” 

“Back when you were working for Moreau. He threw one of those who’s who of the criminal world parties and I snuck in. I saw you and Clint talking and I snuck back out,” explained Parker. 

Eliot couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped as he remembered that night. It had been the first time in nearly four years that he’d seen Clint in person and boy had he been surprised to see him at Moreau’s party. They’d spent about half an hour catching up before he’d felt someone watching him. He’d glanced up and met startled blue eyes for barely a second before they were gone. He hadn’t bothered to mention it to anyone but later that night he’d been greatly amused to learn that someone had stolen Moreau’s favorite Matisse painting. “You stole the Matisse.”

“Yeah, couldn’t help it the security on it was a joke,” admitted Parker.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” asked Eliot. 

“We all have secrets and it wasn’t my place to out you to the others about Moreau and well, I wasn’t ready to talk about Clint. You know about Barney, right?” asked Parker. When he nodded she continued, “After he told me Clint was dead I ran. Archie found me and trained me. Later, I started hearing rumors about Barney and none of them were good so I stayed away. Then I heard Bullseye killed him and I had no one left but it didn’t hurt as much as losing Brian and Clint had. So I thought I was truly alone and that’s when I really decided I wasn’t going to let anyone in anymore. Then I started hearing rumors about Hawkeye but Clint was dead so I got angry. I wanted to see who was using his name so I followed the rumors, snuck in to the party and I watched you guys talking for a while before I left. I kept track of the rumors so I knew he wasn’t like Barney because everyone he killed was a bad guy but I stayed away anyways. I couldn’t face losing him again and I wasn’t ready to let anyone back in.”

“You let us in,” said Eliot quietly. 

“I’d heard of Hardison, I knew he was one of the best Hackers out there. We all knew Nate, it wasn’t hard to trust a good man. I also knew exactly who you were on that first job. It didn’t bother me because I remembered you with Clint. He was always better at knowing who to trust and you were the only person at that party that got a genuinely happy to see you face from him. You were right when you said we weren’t like the others. As much as they enjoy the life we live sooner or later Nate and Sophie at least are going to want out. As good as Nate is he’s too good a man to stay a criminal forever. Sophie’s never had a normal life but she wants it so bad even if she doesn’t realize it yet. And Hardison could, well actually I don’t think he could but he knows how to be normal at least more than me and you. I don’t know how to live like a normal person. I don’t think I could ever really leave this life completely because being a part of our crew is as close to normal I’ve had since my parents died.”

“What about Carson’s?” asked Eliot. Almost every story about Carson’s he’d heard from Clint had involved Gracie and him doing crazy shit but his tone had always been fond and reverent.

Parker actually snorted before she said, “Even I know living in a circus wasn’t normal. The only normal thing about it was having Clint and Barney there and Barney fucked that up. I mean, I was happy but I was really only happy because we were together. If Barney hadn’t told me Clint was dead I know I would have been okay as long as I had Clint. I can’t change the past, I’m not even all that sure I would because I’m happy now. I’ve got Hardison and you’re kinda my best friend. Sophie’s a good mom/older sister person and for all his faults Nate’s a good dad. I’m pretty sure I love you guys. We’re a screwed up dysfunctional family but it works for us,” admitted Parker hesitantly.

“You know me and Hardison are in this for the long haul, right?” asked Eliot as he reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. He knew today had been hard for her. She wasn’t comfortable being vulnerable and from Clint’s stories it wasn’t a relatively recent developed defense mechanism. It was just the way she’d always been even as little kid before their parents had died. 

“Yeah,” agreed Parker squeezing his hand back before letting go and asking, “What’s up with you and Natasha?”

Eliot rolled his eyes at the subject change but answered as honestly as he could, “I have no idea.” Things were complicated between them. They’d been sleeping together on and off since they’d met but whatever they had wasn’t exclusive and they’d never even talked about attempting an actual relationship. They usually just met up in whatever random location they both happened to be in at the moment and spent a few hours, a night, a few days or even a few weeks together. 

“I like her. You should figure it out because she likes you too. You guys would have the most adorable ninja babies in existence,” teased Parker.

Eliot nearly gave into the urge to bang his head on the steering wheel as he said, “Please don’t encourage Darcy’s insane need to pair off everyone she even slightly likes.”

“Darcy’s a good kid and she just wants you happy,” said Parker.

“I am happy,” grumbled Eliot.

“You’d be happier if you two were officially together,” teased Parker.

“Maybe so but we both have our own lives and what we do have is good enough,” countered Eliot with shrug. Getting clingy was the fast way to drive Natasha away. He was perfectly content to let her set the terms of their not-dating togetherness because he was just as scared of fucking up as she was. 

“What are we telling everyone?” asked Parker.

“Up to you. I’d tell you to leave out the fact that Darcy’s my little sister but…” Eliot trailed off.

“She’ll be here tomorrow and she does what she wants,” finished Parker for him. 

Eliot bumped her shoulder gently. 

“Does it bother you?” questioned Parker.

“Does what bother me?” asked Eliot.

“That she’s a part of the Avengers even so superficially?” clarified Parker.

“It’s her life and yeah, it worries me but I know Clint, Natasha and Phil will do their best to keep her safe. For the first time I can remember she’s invested in something and she isn’t going to change her mind anytime soon. Being a part of something as incredible as the Avengers makes her happy,” answered Eliot. 

“God, Darcy was right, you are an ooey-gooey marshmallow,” teased Parker breaking the rather serious atmosphere that had built up.

Eliot glared at her but there was no heat behind it as he pulled the truck into its reserved parking spot.

“Can we just spring it on them tomorrow when everyone gets here?” asked Parker.

Eliot just shrugged and said, “Sounds like a plan.”


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy, Phil, Clint and Natasha meet the rest of the Leverage crew. Someone catches sight of them in Portland.

No one had asked where Eliot and Parker had gone the day before but that wasn’t all that surprising. The duo had been home in time for a late dinner spent with Hardison after he emerged from his gaming marathon. Nate and Sophie had been on a date so no questions from their end. Hardison had asked about her day but accepted that she’d hung out with Eliot and some of his friends with an amused grin. 

He probably would have gotten jealous when they’d first started dating (and even before they got together) but he was comfortable with their closeness by this point. He’d long since learned that there were just some things that he would never actually enjoy sharing with Parker but that was a two way street. He would never love jumping off buildings but he understood why she did. Just like she would never understand his love of tech but appreciated his skills anyways. There were also things that Eliot understood on an instinctive level (ingrained from practically raising three little sisters but Hardison didn’t know that) that he never would but he trusted them both enough to let them spend time together without him worrying about them. 

It was actually the absence of Parker in their bed that woke Hardison that morning. Neither of them were morning people but Parker normally woke up before him. Most mornings she indulged his need for snuggling (for a little while anyways) but her side of the bed was already cold and a glance at the clock confirmed it wasn’t quite eight am yet.

The other thing that woke him was the mouthwatering smell that had drifted into their room. He made a pit-stop at the bathroom before heading to the kitchen. Multiple voices emanating from the kitchen had him frozen in the hallway. He recognized Eliot’s low rumble and Parker’s energetic whispers but there were at least three possibly four other voices that weren’t Nate or Sophie. 

“We don’t bite, well, some of us don’t,” groaned a half asleep but clearly feminine voice from the kitchen.

Eliot’s grumbled, “Darcy!” sounded fondly exasperated. The tone he used the most with Parker.

Alec entered the kitchen to find four strangers with Eliot and Parker. A sandy blonde haired guy in jeans and an old army sweatshirt was at the stove with Eliot clearly relaxed as they took turns adding stuff to the huge pot on the cooktop. Parker was sitting between a twenty something brunette girl in pajamas and a careworn guy around Nate’s age in jeans and a button-up. A gorgeous red headed woman in jeans and a long sleeved tee was leaning against the counter on the guy’s other side but her eyes were mostly watching Eliot. She winked at Alec before turning her attention back to duo cooking. 

Parker looked sheepish and the young brunette giggle at the look on Hardison’s face as he took in the people that had invaded his kitchen.

The older guy rolled his eyes at the girls and said, “I take it they didn’t mention we were coming over for breakfast.”

“No, but I can roll with it if it means I get to eat whatever it is that smells so delicious,” answered Hardison. 

“Biscuits and gravy with a side of sausage and eggs,” offered the sandy blonde. 

“Cool,” responded Hardison settling onto the open stool next to the pajama clad brunette that had her head resting on one arm while the other was wrapped around a mug of coffee. She managed to look less awake than him at the moment. Eliot handed over a mug of coffee to him before turning back to the stove.

“At least I’m not the only one still in pjs anymore,” said the brunette Alec assumed was Darcy.

“We took turns waking you up so it’s your own fault,” stated the older guy.

“Lies, blasphemous lies,” countered Darcy. “You had your man candy drag me out of bed and toss me into the back seat of my own jeep.”

“You love me,” teased the blonde guy, blowing a kiss at Darcy.

“That’s beside the point and you totally aren’t even denying the rest of it,” grumbled Darcy.

“You, my darling dear, sleep like the fucking dead and we really did try to wake you up. I suggested we let you sleep in and join us when you actually woke up but I got out voted four to one. I brought you a change of clothes and your laptop and made you coffee and I’m cooking so blame them not me,” stated the blonde guy. 

Alec was really going to have to ask who these people were at some point. Calling them blonde guy, old guy, really hot red headed chick (he loved Parker but he wasn’t blind) felt rude even in his head.

Darcy blew a raspberry as Nate and Sophie, both fully dressed and bright eyed, arrived.

Nate cleared his throat gaining the attention of everyone even though Alec had a sneaking suspicion that the red head, the blonde and the older guy had already noticed them.

“Phil, you’re looking pretty spry for a dead man,” announced Nate casually as he looked at the older guy.

“Rumors of my death might have been slightly exaggerated,” agreed Phil blandly, “Though I’m still officially dead at the moment.”

“Can we have some introductions?” asked Nate nodding at the three people he didn’t actually know.

“Clint,” introduced Phil with a nod in Clint’s direction. “Natasha and-”

“I’m Darcy, but not really important. I’m just here for the free food. Feel free to pretend I’m not here as long as they feed me,” interrupted Darcy with an exaggerated ‘gimme hands’ motion aimed at the two chefs.

“That was cute when you were little not so much now, brat,” teased Eliot.

“Psh, I’m adorable and starving,” countered Darcy with a shit eating grin. 

Eliot rolled his eyes at her but dished out a plate and set it before her. “This is Nate, Sophie and Alec,” said Eliot before he asked Darcy, “How’s Ma and the girls?” He’d been too caught up in the Barton family drama to ask the day before.

“Mom’s happy. She’s dating a retired teacher. Phil ran a background check on him, he’s clean. He’s nice, kinda reminds me of that science guy from PBS back in the day. Grayson managed to get leave in time for the baby’s birth which made Lena extremely happy. Baby’s cute. They named her Ellie and they were all healthy and nauseatingly adorable when I stopped in on my way out here. Lena wants you to visit, meet your niece and all that jazz. Julie and her fam are good as well and the twins are requesting you as their birthday present barring that they want a castle. Julie said if you get them a castle she will fucking end you,” relayed Darcy. 

Sophie, Nate and Alec took a few moments to digest the personal information about the usually private Hitter as Clint and Eliot handed out plates of food.

Eliot’s personal history and family connections had been wiped clean long before he became a criminal and again after he changed professions. His visits and communications to his family were done with carefully created and immaculately maintained IDs that had no connection to the life he led now. Lena, Julie and their mother had long since resigned themselves to the random visits, phone calls from random numbers, postcards without return addresses and using Darcy to pass along messages. Darcy on the other hand was stubborn as a mule and screamed, begged and done the passive aggressive routine until she got her way to an abridged version of his life and weekly contact. 

“The logistics will be a bit complicated but a castle for the princesses it is,” said Eliot with amusement as he grabbed a plate of his own. Clint and Darcy looked positively gleeful at his response while Natasha had an amused half smile on her face. They’d be more than happy to help. Clint had been considered a part of the family since their army days. Phil got added when Clint followed him to SHIELD and Natasha had been added about a year after Clint recruited her to SHIELD. By this point in time Eliot’s nieces were as likely to ask for Uncles Clint and Phil as they were to ask for him. It didn’t hurt that Julie lived next door to Bobbi and the girls while Lena lived only a few minutes away. The three six year olds might as well have been triplets for how close they were.

“We can put it in Bobbi’s back yard next to the ship,” suggested Clint. “She can’t even complain because I got the house in the divorce.” 

“The house that you don’t actually live in but pay the taxes and half the bills for. Why exactly did you ask for it?” asked Natasha with an eye roll.

“Have to spend my hard earned money on something and it makes me feel less of a shitty father to provide my girls with a home,” answered Clint with a shrug.

“Who makes more money you or Bobbi?” asked Darcy around a mouthful.

“Bobbi makes plenty but I definitely make more,” answered Clint. 

“Phil makes the most,” teased Darcy.

Phil rolled his eyes. While it was true he did make more than Clint he also had alimony, child support for his younger son and paying as much of his daughter’s tuition for med-school as he could. It had been hell on his bank statement but well worth it. His little girl was a Doctor. The way things were they were lucky SHIELD provided housing and a clothing allowance. Neither of them had the ability to say no when their kids asked for stuff (resulting from the fact that they spent roughly eleven months a year away from them working). 

Clint leaned over the counter in front of Phil and drawled, “Wanna be my Sugah Daddy?”

“Natasha makes more than me after the alimony and child support,” deadpanned Phil.

Clint turned towards Natasha and asked, “Tasha, be my Sugah Mamma?” 

“I’m not stupid enough to fight your husband for you,” replied Natasha.

“He’s injured. You could take him,” teased Clint.

“On that note, it’s time for me and Phil to go if we don’t want to be late. Eliot, try to keep the дебилы out of trouble until we get back,” said Natasha as she carried hers and Phil’s dirty plates to the sink. 

Clint and Darcy glared at Natasha for calling them morons while Eliot complained, “You know saying that will make ‘em cause trouble on purpose.”

Natasha smirked wickedly as she said, “Of course, but you’re the one that has to deal with them, дорогой.” 

“Evil fucking woman,” grumbled Eliot but they were already gone. 

“What did you expect? She’s Russian,” teased Clint drawing laughs from Parker and Darcy.

When Parker finished laughing she aimed a pair of puppy eyes at Eliot. Eliot sighed and waved her away. She grabbed Clint’s arm and dragged him out of the kitchen. “You have to see my rigging.” 

“Who wants to bet they end up in the vents?” asked Darcy too focused on her mostly finished breakfast to notice the silent conversation Eliot and Parker had shared.

“Suckers bet,” countered Eliot with a head shake as he picked up Clint and Parker’s abandoned plates.

Darcy shrugged, turned towards Alec and asked, “Hey PJ friend, you’re a gamer right?” 

“Yeah,” agreed Alec.

“You play Zombie Apocalypse V?” asked Darcy.

“Who doesn’t?” replied Alec grabbing his and her dishes and depositing them into the sink as he figured out why her voice had been so familiar. He was grinned as he asked, “LightningMaiden?”

“Yep,” answered Darcy with a matching grin.

“Wanna go stomp some zombie ass?” offered Alec noticing the tension that had built up between the three older occupants of the kitchen.

“Hell yeah,” answered Darcy as she followed Alec out of the kitchen leaving Eliot alone with Sophie and Nate. Eliot was the only one that heard Darcy whisper, “The ‘rents are about to rip Eliot a new one.”

Sophie and Nate were wearing matching disapproving expressions on their faces as Nate hissed, “What the hell, Eliot?”

“They’re family, Nate,” countered Eliot.

“Phil’s a government man,” argued Nate.

“So are Clint and Natasha but the Agency they work for could careless, actually they’d probably pay us to keep doing what we do. They ain’t a danger to us. None of them would betray us,” countered Eliot calmly.

“This is like Moreau all over again,” commented Sophie before she backtracked, “I trust you, we trust you but you have to give us something to work with. This is our home and we don’t know them.”

“Darcy’s my little sister. Our Dad bailed before she was born. I pretty much raised her and our other two sisters while Ma worked two jobs. I joined the army after high school and met Clint during basics. Used to bring him home with me when we got leave. Ma and my sisters love him. My nieces call him Uncle Clint. His daughters call me Uncle Eliot and my sisters are Aunts Julie, Lena and Darcy. They call my Ma, Grandma. He’s family. Phil and Natasha are part of the Clint package. Give them a chance because they’re not just my family. Parker’s not going to just walk away from Clint again, not after all these years,” answered Eliot. 

“What do you mean?” asked Nate with a concerned frown.

“Clint is Parker’s brother,” answered Eliot as he started on the dishes.

“Didn’t her brother die when they were children?” asked Sophie. She hadn’t actually been there when that bombshell had come out but everyone aside from Eliot had called for advice. 

“Brian was the baby of the family and six when he died,” explained Eliot.

“Parker never mentioned his name,” said Nate.

“Clint did, once, while about a shot away from alcohol poisoning. They’re the same that way. They clam up tighter than a bear trap when they don’t want to talk about things,” answered Eliot. 

Sophie gave him a look that read ‘pot meet kettle’ but placed a hand on Nate’s arm stopping any further inquiries on that particular subject as she said, “Okay. How much do they know about what we do?”

“Darcy doesn’t know the particulars but she knows what we do isn’t on the legal side of things. She isn’t stupid. I wouldn’t be surprised if the others know everything. Phil sends me thank you cards after we take down people on his watch list. Said we saved him from a hell of a lot of paperwork the past five years,” answered Eliot. 

 

Two hours earlier, Steve was driving around Portland enjoying the early morning sun when he caught sight of an impossible scene. Agent Phil Coulson was seated in the passenger seat of a jeep with Barton, Romanoff and a young woman that appeared to be sleeping. But that wasn’t possible because Fury had told them all Agent Coulson was dead. Thor had witnessed it, seen Loki stab him through the back. Barton had been grief stricken when informed of Coulson’s death and Romanoff hadn’t been much better. He followed them all the way to their destination and snapped a picture of the quartet as they exited the jeep using the Starkphone Ms. Potts had given him (and taught him to use). He would have been amused by the fact that he’d gotten the drop on the spies but he was feeling too betrayed and confused for lightheartedness. He sent the pic to Tony before he decided to wait at the coffee shop with a view of the Brewpub’s parking lot.

Less than a minute later his phone bypassed ringing with Tony’s voice coming straight out of the speaker, “What the hell, Cap?”

“I don’t know. I was just riding around Portland when I caught sight of them,” admitted Steve.

“Keep an eye on them, we’ll be there soon,” said Tony before the connection ended.


	5. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meetings and revelations are abundant. Clint is a very sassy person when he isn't grieving or a mindless puppet or understandably pissed. Tony might love him just a little in a totally platonic sassy gay friend way.

Tony, Pepper, Bruce, Jane and Thor arrived at the coffee shop about an hour and a half later. Steve had been sketching the buildings around the coffee shop while keeping an eye on the Brewpub. He was a little surprised at how good everyone was at being inconspicuous. Even Thor and Tony were succeeding. Tony was dressed in worn jeans, layered shirts to hide the glow of the arch reactor, a hat and sunglasses. Pepper was dressed in jeans, a long sleeved T-shirt jersey, a matching baseball cap and sunglasses. Thor was dressed the same as the other recognizable members of the group. Bruce and Jane were dressed in their normal clothes without the aid of hats and sunglasses. 

They got drinks at the counter before they joined Steve at the large corner booth he’d claimed earlier. “Coulson and Romanoff left a little while ago. Barton and the girl are still inside. Does anyone know who she is?”

“Her name’s Darcy Lewis and she was my intern when Thor landed in New Mexico the first time. After she graduated I hired her as my PA. She on vacation right now though,” answered Jane. She hadn’t actually mentioned that when Stark showed everyone the image too relieved that Phil was alive. 

“Lady Darcy is a good friend but we are here to celebrate the survival of the son of Coul, are we not?” asked Thor with a slightly confused but mostly happy gleam in his eyes.

“Why is your PA hanging with the assassin duo and Agent?” asked Tony.

“She’s known Clint a long time,” offered Jane with an eye roll.

“Really?” questioned Steve. 

“Why does Barton get a first name but you still call me Stark?” whined Tony.

“I’ve known him longer. After Thor went back to Asgard the first time, Clint was one of the agents keeping an eye on us but mostly he cooked for us and hung out with Darcy. He’s been friends with her older brother since Darcy was a little kid. He teases her about the time she asked him to marry her when she was nine,” explained Jane.

“According to SHIELD, Miss Lewis doesn’t have an older brother. She has two older sisters, two brother-in-laws, a mother, three nieces and a father she’s never met,” countered Tony. “Don’t look at me like that, everyone knows I hack SHIELD when I’m bored.”

Jane snorted as she said, “They’re wrong. She’s definitely got an older brother named Eliot. He came to visit for a weekend last summer. He’s gruff but he makes the most delicious stir fry I’ve ever had. I walked in on the three of them skyping with Momma Lewis. She was bitching out Clint for buying her grandbabies a pirate ship.”

“Why?” asked Bruce with a confused frown.

“It was a twenty five by ten foot pirate ship that has a sixteen foot mast with built-in crow’s nest, one of those specialty kid’s playground sets so it’s perfectly safe. I’m pretty sure she was just mad about it being bright purple and possibly the ridiculousness of have a pirate ship in the back yard,” answered Jane. The kids had looked absolutely delighted with the ship in the pictures Darcy had shown her later on that night.

“Okay, back to why we’re actually here. Why are Thor and I the only ones surprised by Phil being alive?” asked Pepper catching each of the others eyes before settling on Tony.

“I might have overheard a private conversation between Romanoff and Barton about something,” admitted Steve with a slight blush. He hadn’t meant to listen in on them but it happened. 

“They didn’t have a funeral,” answered Jane with a shrug.

“It’s SHIELD, I don’t exactly trust them to tell the truth without providing proof,” added Bruce.

“I did not take you for a conspiracy theorist, Doctor Banner,” teased Tony before he added, “Fury’s a liar. We all know this. Also Legolas and Natalie went from grief stricken to massively pissed at Fury before they officially went on leave but they fell off the grid and SHIELD has yet to locate them.” 

Pepper frowned as she asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I haven’t been able to find any proof before. Didn’t want to get your hopes up if I was wrong,” admitted Tony.  
Pepper sighed before she asked, “What do we do now?” 

“We can either go talk to Barton and Ms. Lewis or wait for Agents Coulson and Romanoff to return and confront them all together,” suggested Steve.

“Are you sure Agent and Natalie left Lewis and Barton there?” asked Tony.

“Yeah, all four of them went in there but only the two came out. They took the jeep so I’m assuming they’ll be back for Barton and Ms. Lewis,” answered Steve as Jane’s phone buzzed.

Jane snorted as she read the first message from Darcy –Come kill Zombies with me and ageofthegeek- before she read the second message out loud, “You guys are terrible spies. You might as well come over.”

“Well, we might as well go over if they know we’re here,” suggested Pepper.

“Or it could be a trap,” remarked Tony but he stood and offered a hand to Pepper.

“The Bridgeport Brewpub’s a pretty conspicuous location for a trap,” commented Bruce as he stood as well.  
Jane rolled her eyes as she said, “It’s Darcy, Clint and possibly Darcy’s brother because I’m pretty sure he mentioned living in Portland last I heard.”

 

Darcy was waiting for them when they entered the Brewpub. She launched herself at Thor for a hug-n-spin, hugging Jane when he set her back on her feet. “Come on peeps. Party’s in the backroom.”

They followed her into the backroom with varying degrees of surprise at the rather chic accommodations. They’d been expecting a kitchen or employee break-room at best. The room had glass walls, high ceilings, a large screen TV, a curved counter with four stools, two gaming chairs (one of which was occupied by a guy that was staring at Tony with fanboy glee) and a couple of tables set in the corners. The room was however lacking one Agent Barton. 

“Where’s Barton?” asked Tony as he studied the tech in various stages of construction on one of the tables.

Darcy rolled her eyes and said, “Everyone this is Alec. Alec this is everyone but I don’t actually know any of them aside from Jane and Thor. Clint’s playing in the vents because he’s a ceiling cat.”

“Fuck you, Darce,” came the echo-y response from Clint as a Nerf dart bounced off her head.

“Where the fuck did you get a Nerf gun?” yelled Darcy before Clint dropped from the ceiling with a shit eating grin. 

Parker said, “It’s mine,” as she dropped down into Alec’s lap.

“I was a little worried you were dead when you stop stealing my stuff,” said Tony frowning at Parker.

“You went all super hero good guy on me,” countered Parker. “It’s not as much fun stealing from good guys.”

Tony rolled his eyes and said, “Dummy misses you. He’s been pining.”

“Aww, tell him I miss him too. Alec built me a robot friend, maybe they can have a play date,” suggested Parker cheerfully.

“Parker!” groaned Alec. “You stole from Tony Stark.”

“Just a couple paintings and he got them back. Mostly I just played with his robots. Dummy’s my favorite,” stated Parker with a shrug. 

Eliot entered the conference room in time to hear Parker’s confession and asked, “Parker, did you just admit to stealing from Tony Stark?” 

“And playing with his robots,” agreed Parker.

“So the reason I’ve had to buy the Dali three times is because Dummy likes the person that kept stealing it?” asked Pepper clearly exasperated.

“Uh-huh,” answered Tony. When Pepper and Steve sent him disbelieving looks he continued, “She wasn’t stealing weapons or tech. Also I used her break-ins as tests for Jarvis.” 

Pepper rolled her eyes at Tony and said, “Ms. Parker, please refrain from stealing my art collection again, no matter what Tony says.” 

Parker nodded and said, “Yes ma’am. You’ve been off the acceptable target list for a few years now and it’s just Parker, well, I guess it would technically be Ms. Barton but no one’s called me that since I was nine. Nope, don’t like it just call me Parker, please.” 

“Barton, why does SHIELD have her listed as deceased?” asked Tony.

“I had her listed as dead so anyone with a grudge against me wouldn’t go looking for her,” answered Clint blandly.

Parker smiled and said, “Did you have me cremated or buried?”

“Cremated but I got you a nice gravestone,” answered Clint.

“Is it weird that I kinda want to visit my grave?” asked Parker.

“Sophie went to two of her own funerals so not really,” offered Alec with a shrug.

“A little but less weird than Sophie,” added Eliot. 

“I’ve gone to five of my own funerals so no nope,” offered Clint.

Darcy turned to Eliot and asked, “You ever go to your own funeral?”

“Does it count if I was being buried alive at the time?” asked Eliot.

“Yes,” answered Darcy.

“It's classified,” answered Eliot.

“Uh, can we get to the reason we actually came here for?” interjected Steve.

“Which would be?” asked Clint with a blank look on his face.

“Phil’s alive,” stated Pepper.

“And you didn’t tell us,” accused Tony.

“And?” asked Clint flatly. He wasn’t going to feel guilty about not telling them. He’d been mind-fucked into killing his friends and coworker. He’d come back to himself turned around and fought against an alien army. After said battle he’d been informed of Phil’s death at Loki’s hand. A lie used as a push for Captain America and Iron Man to get over their pissing contest. He did feel a little bad for not telling Pepper, she was Phil’s friend and he knew she’d grieved for him. But no he wasn’t going to regret keeping them in the dark.

“Why?” asked Steve with such earnest confusion that Clint almost felt like apologizing.

Then he got pissed, “Put that face away. Agent Coulson’s dead. Until such time as Director Fury admits otherwise I’m on grief leave so fuck off. Pepper, Jane, Thor and Bruce can stay. You and Stark can definitely fuck off though.”

The silence was deafening for a minute before Eliot snorted and Darcy started snickering. Between snickers Darcy managed to say, “God, you’re such a fucking drama queen. They have no idea why you’re pissed at them.” 

Clint glared at her and said, “I don’t give a flying fuck.”

“Phil’s going to give you his disappointed face,” countered Darcy while Eliot nodded his agreement. Phil’s disappointed face was rather impressive. All three of them had been on the receiving end many times.

Clint shoulder sagged as his anger left, “Phil’s dead. I’m on grief leave. Nat’s making sure my cognitive recalibration sticks. None of us are in Portland.”

Tony was the first to actually understand what Clint meant if his sputtered, “You and Agent, what about the Cellist? She just a cover story?” was any indication.

Pepper sank gracefully onto an open stool as she digested the revelation. Phil was her friend and she knew the Cellist was his ex-wife. She hadn’t known that Clint Barton was more than an asset to Phil but she wasn’t all that surprised about it. Phil had always had a warm gleam in his eyes when speaking of the man. She also didn’t take it personally that he hadn’t told her. Phil was a deeply private man under the bland g-man persona.

Thor looked like he was about to ask for clarification when Jane yanked him down to her level and started whispering frantically in his ear. His expression went from confused to slightly horrified as he realized just how badly his brother had wronged the good archer. 

Steve’s expression went from confused to utterly contrite as he realized why Clint was so angry with them (him and Tony specifically). The conversation he’d overheard between Romanoff and Barton made a hell of a lot more sense now. He’d be angry as well if he’d been lied to about his other half because his team mates had been too busy fighting each other to work together. He was still angry and betrayed but it was entirely aimed at Fury now instead of shared between Fury and the three agents.

Bruce looked mildly amused as he watched the others reactions. His own feelings were mild compared to the others. He hadn’t known Phil for more than a day and beyond a bland smile the man had been unreadable. 

“No she’s his ex-wife, Jennifer, and the mother of his children,” answered Clint. 

Tony gave a lecherous smirk as he said, “Oh, you little home wrecker, you.”

“Fuck you, Stark. There was no home wrecking,” countered Clint.

“There was a little mutual home wrecking but seeing as neither of you instigated it you aren’t a home wrecker,” teased Darcy. “I’m pretty sure you guys had the most amicable divorces in existence. You’re lucky Jennifer and Bobbi are spectacular women that got a kick out of matchmaking their stupid husbands.”

“Your wives played matchmaker on you?” asked Steve baffled.

Clint shrugged and said, “I’m still blaming the pregnancy hormones. Bobbi was a little, umm-” 

“Nuts, preggo, temporarily insane from your demon spawn,” interjected Darcy. 

Clint swatted Darcy and said, “Emotional.”

Darcy swatted back and said, “She instigated an intervention and Jennifer giggled as she helped. The whole family was involved. My mom, my sisters, their husbands, Eliot, Natasha, me, Phil and Jennifer’s daughter Jessa, even Jake and Emily, who were like five at the time, were in on it. It was fucking hilarious.”

“Jake and Emily?” asked Pepper.

“Phil’s son and my older daughter they’re twelve now,” answered Clint.

“Who might as well be twins because we’ve been a big old integrated family since they were toddlers,” added Darcy.

“Integrated family?” repeated Steve.

“Yeah, you know the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ only they: Bobbi, Jennifer, my sisters, their fams and my Mom, all live on the same block,” answered Darcy.

“How the hell isn’t any of this in SHIELD’s records?” asked Tony.

Clint snorted and said, “I’m a level seven field operative, well, I was before Loki anyways. What do you think Phil’s clearance is, was? Whatever.” 

“You naughty boys. Lying and fraud are against the law,” teased Tony.

Clint smirked unrepentantly and said, “What’s the point of being a secret agent for a quasi-military shadow agency if you can’t break a few laws?”

Tony grinned as he said, “You’re a sassy one. I think I'm kinda in love.”

Clint rolled his eyes and said, “I prefer sass master, actually,” drawing groans from Darcy, Eliot and Pepper. 

Pepper finally realized why Phil had spent the better part of the last five years making sure Agent Barton and Tony never met. Tony, Bruce and Jane had already formed the Science Bros club (at least Bruce could be partially trusted not to blow himself or anything else up on purpose. Jane on the other hand was almost as likely to blow shit up as Tony was, which was frankly getting ridiculous). This unholy alliance was either going to end with a bromance of epic proportions or an explosion, probably both but at least she didn't have to deal with it on her own. Phil wasn't dead. Natasha could hopefully be trusted to help with them. Steve would try but he was so very young no matter what Tony said. Thor was still too unknown for her to have an opinion on whether he'll be help or hinderance. Phil wasn't dead.

**Author's Note:**

> What the author knows-In the original comics Trickshot is a mavel villian and in the new Hawkeye comics Barney Barton is Trickshot. that is the extent of my comic knowledge any other similarities or difference are due to the authors utter lack of comic readership and reading way too much fanfiction.  
> Please review. critisms welcome thanks for reading.


End file.
